Richie Sambora – Aftermath Of The Lowdown review

The year is 2012. Richie Sambora has some down time while Bon Jovi aren’t touring as excessively over the past two years, so he has an idea. An idea that he thinks is a good one; to record his third solo album – Aftermath Of The Lowdown. The only problem being with this is that it was probably only Richie Sambora who thought this to be a good idea. In fact, it’s a genuine surprise that nobody turned round to him and said “Hey, Richie! Don’t you think you should just take a break? I’m sure Bon Jovi’s Circle tour must have damn near killed you!”

The fact of the matter is that this is nothing more than an extra mark on Sambora’s CV (a sort of job résumé for you Americans!). While artists love to do something different or something they want to do and we have no power to stop them, sometimes it just feels like some sort of ego boost. Sambora kicks things off with the tedious Burn That Candle Down (how very rock n’ roll!) and from then on, things can only begin to get unimaginably worse. Every Road Leads Home To You is a terrible, awful ballad that even someone like Billy Ray Cyrus could probably make a song one hundred times better than it, while Taking A Chance On The Wind does actually go down the Cyrus route with a ridiculously awful country vibe.

If the first three songs weren’t bad enough or hadn’t made you weep, fall to your knees and cry to the heavens asking “WHYYYYYYYY!?” then Nowadays will help you do that. By all means, it’s the most rock n’ roll song by far but Sambora tries to give off a rebellious attitude in the song – his tone of voice, the embarrassing Avril Lavigne-esque guitar playing are horrendous. Weathering The Storm is not worth mentioning (it’s that bad), however at some point the record does have a bright spark in the name of Sugar Daddy. Although a little stupid, Sugar Daddy is catchy even if the chorus is so very cringe worthy and cheesy.

At this point if things weren’t bad enough, you’ll certainly be in for a treat on the next track. The only problem with this treat is that it’s covered in dog shit and no amount of washing or scrubbing it will ever make it seem good. That treat comes in the form of I Will Always Walk Beside you – another crap ballad. Seven Years Gone – another ballad. Really? NEEEEEEEEEEEXT!

If you haven’t already given up listening to the record at this point (or you’ve genuinely enjoyed it), then visit your GP or doctor immediately. There’s something drastically wrong with you. What the fuck is Learning How To Fly With A Broken Wing all about? Does anyone give a fuck anymore? The ambient sounds of You Can Only Get So High last for 6 MINUTES AND 32 FUCKING SECONDS. It’s a shame that this album exists because it’s not like Richie Sambora lacks talent – even the biggest haters of Bon Jovi can’t claim that Sambora is an awful musician or that he isn’t talented in anyway, it’s just that the album lacks inspiration. It’s lazy, uninspired and completely unappealing. It feels like heaven on Earth once World finishes the record.

As long as Richie Sambora had fun creating the record and making the record, that’s all that really matters, right? Surely the world wouldn’t have been upset if he told them all he’d be taking a couple years off or vowed to not make a solo album again. Aftermath Of The Lowdown is just unfathomably bad and after this, it’s probably best that the Bon Jovi axeman decides to have a quite obviously well needed rest. Christ.

Aftermath Of The Lowdown is out now.

Richie Sambora on Facebook

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6 Responses to Richie Sambora – Aftermath Of The Lowdown review

  1. Russ shackelford says:

    You’re either an idiot, or you’re like 13 years old. Maybe both. Either way you have no business reviewing an album.

  2. crosbyart says:

    Bon Jovi stopped being a real band probably when Slippery sold 4 gazillion records. They stopped making albums, and focused on writing hits instead. Having said that, The Bon’s adventurous These Days, released in 94 (?) was a cracking collection of contemporary AOR gems. Jon Bon Jovi wrote a very good record, and Richie followed up Stranger in this town with the god-awful Undiscovered soul. Whilst the band still sells out football stadiums, they all continue to release solo stuff. I was surprised to hear that Sambora was releasing a third album, and my feeling was a mixture of excitement and ‘oh, how the mighty fall’. Gotta say, tho, this album is great, and your review seems a little biased. You seem to know very little about classic rock (Eric who??) and the direction that Sambora is taking. Comparing any tracks on this to Cyrus or Avril Lavign means to me that you just listen to too much Cyrus and Lavign. You probably think a
    Peter Gabriel is a type of bird. Fuck off and go buy a One Direction album, pal.

    • Michael says:

      This was all decent and constructive criticism up until the point that you got a little angry. Maybe next time I’ll review some ‘real rock’ for you like Miley Cyrus, Avril Lavigne or One Direction just for you. True rock n’ rollers, they are. Who is this Eric? Do you mean Eric Cantona the famous Manchester United and French football player? Or even Flat Eric – that weird cat from the Levi’s TV ads? I compared that ONE song to Avril Lavigne because it was very, very awful and not of high caliber at all.

      I’m all for people trying to insult me and be complete and utter fucking morons, but I think you misunderstand that we all have different tastes. I found this album to be lazy, self-indulgent and above all very, very poor. As for not knowing much about classic rock – it’s not exactly my era, but having said that it doesn’t mean I’m not a fan at all. I saw Bon Jovi in ’10 on The Circle Tour and I loved every second of it. Saw Aerosmith a few days after and they were even better. Just the other week I saw the original and proper Beach Boys and they were absolutely stunning – just three examples for you! One of them even features Sambora. SHOCK! I wouldn’t exactly bring up Clapton either in this argument, two completely different styles. Genesis aren’t exactly my cup of tea by the way, since you’re going a bit mental and trying to name drop and insult me. But hey, what do I know? I just got asked to review the album. I did. I gave my honest opinion of it. I thought it was bad. So if you loved it then I’m glad you did. I couldn’t get in to it and it bored me to death. Thanks though, I do appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Try not to be such a prat next time though.

  3. Flor says:

    I happen to like the album, I enjoy it, it’s fun! Come on, it can’t be that bad!

  4. lookatbowen says:

    I like it a lot – I guess our taste in music are different. Cool site none the less – some great reviews else where (just not on this album) 🙂

  5. coraline says:

    This is the best review I’ve found on Aftermath of The Lowdown. This is EXACTLY what I thought when I first listened to it! Such a huge, huuuge disappointment, I felt like crying. It was like a pathertic rollercoaster – either the song was too cheesy, or he tried too hard to make a rocking one and failed. I love Richie, and he has far more talent than Jon, but I feel the same as with Jon’s Destination Anywhere – they just don’t work out by themselves. (Although Bon Jovi also seems to become too mainstream…) I simply didn’t expect THIS after Stranger In This Town. The latter is one of my favourite albums, but I threw AoTL in the trash the minute I finished listening to it. I just miss the old Richie/Jon/Bon Jovi. 😥

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